I would like to just for one second of my life to know that I am in control; seems so hard to even try and make the smallest things go my way for a change. The chance never comes and my faith in believing is slowly dying.
I've decided that my brain and my heart have two different mind of their own, my body has no control :( So on the edge of becoming a nutter, I named my brain Diosa (meaning Goddess) and my heart Amor (meaning love). (Am I insane already? Does naming your own organs count?)
I set Diosa free out of her cage for the night, attempting to keep my lover out of my head. I let her roam free in the land of imagination and secrets. To help her dance for the wind and soul of my magical garden, I played Claude Debussy's 'Claire de lune'.
Diosa danced so beautifully in the notes of music; she painted and drifted towards Amor's cage, which I tightened the lock before hand. Diosa flashed the image of the troubled male, Amor sighed, shivered and shrank back in the dark.
I called for Diosa, but she does not hear; she kept close at Amor's cage. She twisted and twirled, she played a memory of mine to Amor. My love came in sight, he presented the viewer with violet blue orchids wrapped up with gold paper. He reaches out to touch Amor's soft and delicate cheeks. Amor smiled a weak smile that made her cheeks blush, she drifted towards the edge of the cage following his touch. Our gaze locked, his blue, crystal clear eyes agreed with mine... I bloomed.
Diosa slowly glide over next to Amor, she does not notice as she was weak under his gaze. Diosa moves closer, she mimics and whispered " I'm not... sure... we're just not... can't... together... well, goodbye." Those blue eyes suddenly turn bitter and hollow. he is fading away from me! A struck of panic fell across Amor's pretty little face, she lets out a shock scream as she leaps for his shadowing hand, but was restricted by the golden cage the burned her skin.
"No! come back..." Amor's eyes wide open with tears, searching for for that familiar image, but he was gone. She's frightened, she cried, she shook my cage and she broke free. Diosa fled.
It's a mess out there, Amor fell to the ground. Flowers turned gray, trees shred it's leaves, black and white... storm in the distance as it begins to shower. Her soft wings and her best gown now soaked, her frail foot steps treads towards her love roses, which has down turned dark gray and fragile. She begin to sob her sorry tears; Amor felt weak and abandoned. All the love has been drained out of her; what use is there of a heart that has no love?
Finally, she collapsed in her roses, they no longer give her the strength to go on, they no longer comfort her. Big drops of heart ache begin to leak from her empty eyes, she could no longer hold them in, they had filled her over the top.
The rain got heavier as her body sinks down, drowning in her own hopeless tears. She drew her last breath and fare welled her love rose garden.
I woke up with a shock, gasping for air, I panicked. My pillow soaked with my tears, Claude Debussy still finely playing 'Claire de lune' in the background. I quickly checked Diosa and Amor's cages... they stare back at me with their innocent eyes, safe and sound.
I got dressed, had some breakfast and head out for another lifeless and tiring day.
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