What am I? What do I want? How did I end up here? Why am I like this? I don't understand...
I'm so lost, I yet to understand my existence on this planet. I want to know why I live everyday, or else what's the point? You struggle so hard, you fight to the death, then what? At the end of the day you just lay your head down and rest. Then when another day comes, you got no choice but to start again.
When your whole life lays empty ahead of you, when you look back at your past, you see nothing but because you wake up the every next morning and your still alive. The crazy thing is that this stupid and boring cycle doesn't end until you could no longer "try" and get through each day anymore, then you die.
People tell me that there is so much wonderful and beautiful things in this world that is worth living for just to see, but when I look out the window, I see only emptiness. Even if I do see the beauty, I can't catch it and plant the divine beauty within me. It's all just like an illusion, I can't touch it... Where's my passion gone? Where's my beauty that I've been searching for?
One of my goal in life is to live a life so full filled, so amazing that when I'm old and could no longer carry myself, I could still live on the pure juiciness of my wonderful memories. But how could I achieve that when I can't even see the simple beauty out side my little window frame?
Sometimes letting go of something that you've been holding on for so long is very hard. You feel like it is a part of you, but yet that part never seemed to fit perfectly. You don't want it slip away, therefore, you hold it even tighter. But the more you tense and try to hold on, the quicker it slips through your fingers, like sand. Before you've realize what your doing, it's already too late and all your left with is te marks on your hand. You could do nothing but to stare at it and feel the pulsing pain.
Why do people feel upset, hurt and pain? Why do we burden ourselves with such unpleasant feelings? In order to be happy, we have to accept, forgive and move on. We often let the past stop us from moving forward.
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